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NINETEEN STAND-UP COMICS : ONE UNIQUE BOOK

SIT-DOWN COMEDY

ORIGINAL WRITING by ORIGINAL MINDS

edited by Malcolm Hardee & John Fleming

Now available as an iBook for the iPad
On your iPad, just go to the iBook Store and search for... sit-down comedy
and as a Kindle eBook from amazon .co.uk

"An anthology of short stories by some of the best-known names in live comedy.... the next best thing to a comedy cabaret, and only half the price of the average ticket..... PAPERBACK OF THE WEEK" (Observer)

(Also chosen in the Observer BOOKS OF THE YEAR section as one of only eighteen 'Books That Made Their Mark in 2003')

"Hardee and Fleming are spot on about this not being the usual 'comedian who thinks he can publish a novel' fodder.... Throughout these tales of psycho adventures, life on stage, lyrical dreams and a sudden beheading it is the pleasure of seeing proven talent. What Hardee and Fleming have done is given a bunch of comedians the freedom to run with their ideas on the page. As alternative as comedy gets..... FOUR STARS - RELEASE OF THE WEEK" (The Scotsman)

"The stories are a million miles from the light, laugh-out-loud comedy of John O'Farrell or Nick Hornby. They're left-field and brutal and, when it comes to expletives, make Tarantino look like Mary Whitehouse. And while there's no knowing quite what's coming next, it's usually about sex or death. Or sex and death. It's juvenile. It's sophisticated..... it's entertaining..... FOUR STARS " (Daily Mirror)

"The credits read like a fantasy line-up for some mammoth comedy benefit, featuring the best names in the business.....it makes an intriguing read for any fans of stand-up.....a breezily entertaining read" (chortle.co.uk)

" An astonishing variety of writing styles and subjects...There's some seriously good writing in here. The cliché would be 'something for everyone' - In this case it's true." (amazon.co.uk)

Published by Ebury Press in the UK & Ireland

ED BYRNE
WHAT I DON'T TELL JOURNALISTS
That monogamous moment. The girlfriend. The clinic they hid away. The embarrassing question. The attractive young nurse. The machine that talked.

"excellent...enjoyable...autobiographical" (Observer)
www.edbyrne.com


JOHN DOWIE
HELP ME MAKE IT THROUGH THE NIGHT
The Northern comedian has a foul mouth, a foul mind and a bomb. His mother has a secret. This is not good news for the speccy comic from Down South.

"a wrist-slashingly brutal account of a Bernard Manning-esque comic who plans blood-thirsty revenge. Funny? No, not really. Disturbing? Very." (Daily Mirror)
"breathlessly entertaining yarn" (chortle.co.uk)
"inspired fantasy...deliciously dark" (amazon.co.uk)
www.johndowie.com


JENNY ECLAIR
METAMORPHOSIS - BLUE STOCKING BLUES
She'd prefer torturing her schoolchildren to teaching the little terrors, but then strange things start happening - and what's with the breasts and the giggling?

"very readable tale" (chortle.co.uk)
"Quite spooky and unusual..." (Roobarb's DVD Forum)
www.camberwellbeauty.co.uk/jenny.htm


STEPHEN FROST
HIPPY TRIPPY
A cup of tea on a movie set takes Stephen into a world of Glastonbury hippies and strange meetings on the night King Arthur may be out and about.

"enthusiastic slide into a lost weekend certainly has the ring of truth" (chortle.co.uk)



BOOTHBY GRAFFOE
ARE WE THERE YET?
When you kidnap an elephant, you can end up with big trouble.

QUID PRO QUO
He asked for her darkest sexual fantasy. The bad news was she told him.

THE WORST SERIAL KILLER IN THE WORLD
Getting through the door was bad enough, but then he met the cat.

"Boothby Graffoe's gruesomely slapstick Worst Serial Killer In The World is, literally, bloody funny"(chortle.co.uk)
http://www.boothbygraffoe.com


RICKY GROVER
MY FIRST JOB
The cafe. The robbery. The mum who thought she was Mrs Kray.

JEKYLL
The posh bird. The little dog with the broken neck. The steaming log.
"fictional, I hope." (Daily Mirror)
"at once sweet and suitably disgusting" (amazon.co.uk)
"Ricky Grover is the standout by far with a deadpan gem." (The Scotsman)
"Both are seriously superb pieces of writing. People like that are exactly as he has captured them - I jumped when I read it. Ricky Grover is a fine, splendid writer." (unsolicited e-mail from a genuine reader)
http://www.rickygrover.com


MALCOLM HARDEE
INTRODUCTION
Well, someone has to do it.

Oy oy.
"The spiritual father of Alternative Comedy" (Independent on Sunday)
"The father of modern alternative comedy" (The Scotsman)
"Cast your mind back to OTT's late-night nude balloon dance and Hardee's face - and backside - will come back to you." (Daily Mirror)
www.malcolmhardee.co.uk


HATTIE HAYRIDGE & LINDA SMITH
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF AN URBAN NOBODY
Without quality control, there would we be sub-standard apple turnovers and that would never do. There's a job to be done.

HATTIE: "Witty lines like hers are a rarity" (Ben Elton)
LINDA IS: "The wittiest living person" (BBC Radio 4 listeners)

JOHN HEGLEY
EASY ON THE BUTTER

John goes to Greece with a tent. There are some references to Morris Dancers, potatoes and teacakes; plus several charming drawings.

"John Hegley shows he's as good with prose as he is with poetry with his captivatingly offbeat contribution"(chortle.co.uk)

"surreal miniature prose-poem"(Guardian)
www.johnhegley.co.uk


DOMINIC HOLLAND
HOBBS' JOURNEY
When the tramp has a slap-up meal at a Park Lane hotel restaurant, there's more on the menu than he can ever possibly have imagined.

"Hobbs' Journey is a real corker that leaves you wanting more" (chortle.co.uk)
"a joyful ten pages that has me rushing to buy his two novels" (amazon.co.uk)
www.dominicholland.com


JEFF INNOCENT
IN DARKEST ENGLAND
The social history of The Cockney explained from Bill Sykes to Del Boy, from Jews to jellied eels, from the Black Death to the Queen Mother.

"Very sharp" (Time Out)
"worth the purchase price alone" (amazon.co.uk)
http://www.jeffinnocent.co.uk


STEWART LEE
I'LL ONLY GO IF YOU THROW GLASS
The most-feared venue in Britain has booked a legendary comic known for his harmonica, a pack of cards, a pair of dirty Y-fronts and a bag of wigs.
"Written as loosely rhyming verse, it's quite odd." (Daily Mirror)
"truly exceptional....typically brilliant." (Jack magazine)
www.stewartlee.co.uk


SIMON MUNNERY
THE TRUE CONFESSIONS OF SHERLOCK HOLMES
Why is Watson wearing a steel fez? Who is the Musical Detective? When you have eliminated the impossible, what is left is a man with no face.
"If The True Confessions of Sherlock Holmes is anything to go by, Munnery is at the top of his game this year." (Guardian)
"classic Munnery" (Scotsman)
"The gem of the collection" (Observer)
www.leagueagainsttedium.co.uk


OWEN O'NEILL
THE BASKETCASE
What use is a doorbell that plays God Save The Queen in Ireland, especially when Ambrose's wife is dying? And what is he building in the living room?

"The short story is a difficult form...Playwright and stand-up Owen O'Neill demonstrates how it should be done" (Observer)
"a cracking piece in the finest tradition of Tales Of The Unexpected" (chortle.co.uk)


ARTHUR SMITH
THE MAN WITH TWO PENISES
The ultimate male fantasy becomes the ultimate nightmare.
DISHONOURABLE DISCHARGE
Bernie was king of the hospital Smoking Room...then Roland arrived.

"Arthur Smith....presents the man with two penises, revealingly named Ant and Dec." (Daily Mirror)
"two scabrous shaggy-dog stories" (Guardian)
"Arthur Smith's tale of the extra phallus is bizarre" (amazon.co.uk)


JIM TAVARÉ & DAVE THOMPSON
KISSING IN THE WIND
The retirement home like Colditz plus Seahaven's sexiest funeral director and two aged escapees with a secret.

"a wry account of life in an old folks' home with a twist in the tale" (chortle.co.uk)
"as well as making me laugh out loud, the story had a dream logic. I read it a second time, and the symbolism worked on a deep level without needing any humour." (amazon.co.uk)
www.jimtavare.co.uk
www.davethompson.org.uk


TIM VINE
THE MAP OF ELORZA
How to destroy the world with a nuclear toothbrush, a 300 metre mechanical arm and some hysterical paranoia. Not to mention the four dancing Osmonds.

"I loved Tim Vine's, because it was so silly, but held an emotional truth " (amazon.co.uk)

"a quirky page-turner" (chortle.co.uk)

TO READ
MALCOLM HARDEE'S
INTRODUCTION TO THE BOOK

CLICK HERE for the ONLINE VERSION

TO READ
JOHN FLEMING'S ARTICLE
ON HOW THE BOOK WAS WRITTEN

CLICK HERE for an ONLINE VERSION

CLICK HERE for an ADOBE ACROBAT VERSION

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